“He already knew what he was gonna do.”
Becky came from a broken home. Her mother was a drug addict and was engaged in the sex trade—and her father was absent. So when a man entered Becky’s life when she was 18—she wanted desperately to earn and keep his love. He already had a plan for her, however.
At first, he occasionally asked her to sell her body to “make ends meet”—but by the time she was 20, it was her everyday life.
Everything I did, I thought I was doing to better my relationship. I wanted to have that forever. And if [the sex trade] was what was going to get me that [love] forever, I was going to do it. — Becky
Over the next 20 years, she would marry and have three children with her abuser, spend two years in prison, endure a volatile and violent relationship—and spend about 12 of those years on-and-off in the sex trade.
“I told him to stop, and I left, and I was crying.”
By the time she had reached her late 30s, Becky was ready to leave her abusive relationship—but not the sex trade. She continued to trade sex for money and security, all the while growing more and more wary of “the life” until she was 40.
Becky is petite and looks young for her age. The last time she traded sex, she received a message through one of her online ads from a woman who was looking for an escort for her husband. “He’s really into your body type,” she said. When she met the man, he declared, “You look exactly like my daughter.”
She realized that she was there as a surrogate for a young girl—that this man was seeking sex with a minor—and this shook her deeply.
She immediately told him to stop, left, and began the terrifying and insecure journey out of the sex trade for good. She pulled her ads off the internet and deleted her call logs with all of her recent clients.
“But—what now?”
With no income, Becky suddenly found herself homeless and without food—and she felt utterly lost. “I was making $1,500 a day. You know what’s in my pocket now? Bus fare. $1,500 to $2.75 is drastic—and I didn’t think there was gonna be any life after that.”
A few years before her breaking point, a friend from the sex trade told Becky about Mariya, her REST Advocate—someone who helped her access resources. Becky met with Mariya—but was deeply skeptical of her—how could she understand this life? Becky was also receiving messages through REST’s Text Outreach program—a constant reminder that REST was there.
It was just enough to know that REST was there—so when I needed it, and I was ready, I just picked up the phone. — Becky
And when Becky called, Mariya was able to respond and meet her where she was at—and they began working on Becky’s goals together.
“I love you, I respect you, and you’re worth it.”
Becky often recites that refrain to herself in the mirror, as she looks at the woman who survived all that she’s been through—and has now been out of the sex trade and pursuing new goals for 18 months.
With REST’s help alongside her own strength and determination, she now has a place to live, her daughter recently moved in with her, and she has a job working with animals.
Life isn’t perfect—she still has to navigate the complicated relationship with her former abuser who is the father of her three children. She still sometimes struggles to maintain a job after twenty years outside of the workforce. It’s still a work in progress.
But progress counts. When Becky first started reciting that refrain, she couldn’t get past saying “I love you” to herself without welling up in tears—and can now confidently recite the full refrain to herself in the mirror.
“I know my worth,” she says.
Becky’s story originally appeared in our 2019 Annual Report.